Visitors after the baby is born

It's kind of weird how every once in a while, a topic will pop up and that's "all over the place." I read several blogs and web sites, and the hot topic right now is whether or not people want family and friends visiting after their babies are born. I felt kind of bad about dreading having "extra people" around us all of the time (when I'm really looking forward to just getting used to becoming a family of three), but I'm kind of surprised (and pleased) to see that I'm not alone in my thinking. (Seriously, I'm sure a lot of my friends and family think I'm quite a "B" for saying some of the things I say and thinking some of the things I think, but then I read blogs and talk to people who have been in similar situations and I realize that either there are a lot of "B"s like me... or maybe I'm just a lot more normal than I realize.)

(((I'm going to go off on a spelling/grammar tangent for a minute--I'm kind of annoyed that the both the past and present tense of the word "read" is the same word, just pronounced differently. That means my readers will have to rely on contextual clues to figure out that I'm using "read" in the present tense and not in the past tense.)))

But anyway...

We like to have company every once in a while--it's fun to have different people around every now and then. For the most part, though, we like our quiet little life at home. I have a feeling that, whether I like it or not, we're going to have a lot of company after our baby is born. It will be fine for a little bit, but my worry is that having company is exhausting, and not only am I going to be a new parent trying to learn the ropes (something everyone has to learn from experience, not from being advised), I'll be entertaining company at the same time. What many people find helpful, I find stressful. My house is not "neat as a pin," but it's my home, and I like it the way it is. I don't want someone around cleaning it up! (Notice I didn't say "messing it up." While our house is by no means a pigsty, I have no delusions of being a great housekeeper! I have a large, 130 year old Victorian home, three pets, and a penchant for saving everything because I'm a treehugger and I don't like to discard things that I might use later. I HATE HATE HATE the mindset that everything is disposable, but that's another topic for another time.) I've been told that we'll need someone around to help us out, but that's truly something that we can not know for sure until the time comes. I know my life is going to change a LOT when we have a child, but I don't expect to become a completely different person, I just think I'm going to become a different version of myself. And with a little bit of time and practice, I hope to make that an even better version of myself! :)

I know this is a tough topic and I think it's going to be very hard for me to deal with. I'm not what you'd call a tactful person. To be quite honest, my most common reaction in the past would have been to give in to whatever someone else wanted and then be passive-aggressive about it. I'm trying to replace that childish tactic with something a little more clear and honest, but I know I'll be afraid of hurting people's feelings and will, therefore, spend a lot of time biting my tongue.

Bottom line--if I don't have the experience that I want at this most amazing time in my life, I will be hurt and resentful for who knows how long. I'm not out to hurt people's feelings, I'm out to make this experience one that I can cherish for the rest of my life. And I hope I can find that balancing point between sharing this experience with other people and staying true to myself and my needs.