Worried about work

I'm happy to be having a baby. Very happy. I look forward to sharing the next adventure in my life with my best friend in the world. But I was terrified to do what I did today...tell my coworkers.

Up until that point I had only told my parents and one very trustworthy friend, and even that was difficult. So why, if I'm so happy, am I so afraid of telling people? I'm trying to figure that one out. Sometimes I have irrational reactions to things and I don't know why. It's not horribly common, so when it happens it throws me for a loop. I'm used to knowing myself pretty well and am usually quite confident about the way I view myself and the way I choose to live my life, even though I know I'm a little on the weird side (or maybe a LOT on the weird side! ;) But when I got ready to share this news, I was actually shaking, my voice was cracking, I was close to a combination of laughing and crying... What the heck?

I think I'm worried that I won't be able to juggle a family and a career. I love my job, and although I'm a little on the scatterbrained side, I swear I try to be a good employee. My coworkers were all very happy and excited for me. So happy, in fact, that they squealed, prompting other teachers who were walking by the office to come in and see what all of the commotion was about. My principal was incredibly supportive and seemed genuinely thrilled when I told him the news. My superintendent congratulated me and laughed when I told him that I'd be back to work "eventually". (He's a super nice guy and has always been very supportive of me, but I don't know if he gets excited about things like that. Also, my "situation" makes a lot more work for him because he has to go through the hassle of finding a counselor to cover for me for however long I'm out of work.) The ladies in the admin office asked me all kinds of questions and were very interested in details.

I think that with all of the support I'm receiving, things are going to be fine. Now that everyone knows, we can all work together to prepare for me to be out for anywhere from 6 weeks to 2 years. (I'm able to take up to 2 years of unpaid child rearing leave, although I don't know as I'd want to be out of work for that long.)

To everyone at MGHS, thank you for all you've done for me over the years. I'm happy to be surrounded by such wonderful and caring people as I experience probably the most exciting (and drastic!) change in my life!